When you have a disability I’ve often found people are at loss of what to say as an icebreaker. Some crash and burn and some do it in style. Which are you?

Favourite Icebreaker

My favourite is ‘I love your handbag’. It puts me on a quest to make sure that I’ve got a funky handbag. Hey, I think that’s a great safe space to talk from. A nice neutral place, no need to get into the nitty gritty of our daily grind. 

The jump to conclusions icebreaker 

I find this the most fun but can only be used in the right setting. I remember back in the days where I only had a walking stick. I was in the elevator at the train station and someone asked what happened to me. I just said ‘well you know how they say you need to be careful when you go to the snow’. (make sure you use a long pregnant pause) I couldn’t finish the sentence as the lift erupts into stories of friends and family that have hurt themselves at the snow skiing. It’s always given me a chuckle and I admit I’ve used it more than once.

Crash and Burn Icebreaker

But then sometimes people say weird things. Say you’re at a party. I’ve had a few ask how long I had my disability for…at a party. Aaargh emotional intelligence where are you. Yeah I know right I kinda hung up my disability at the door. Let’s just grab a drink and talk politics (yeah being sarcastic here). OK, I wouldn’t say anything like that but man I’m at a party. It’s different if your my friend cause it comes from a place of love. Seriously though I’d rather have fun.

Truth icebreaker

Well they want the truth, they’re brave! Lucky it’s been so long it just doesn’t phase me to just tell the truth of it. These are the most common. So there’s 5 roads I go down these days.

1. You let them know. Their eyes glaze over. They don’t really want to know. They are being polite.
2. You appreciate it’s a chat gap. You keep it short and sweet like just a few words then make sure you move onto something totally unrelated and fun.
3. ‘For…..ever’ with a Kath and Kim bogan voiceover. That’s just the fun side of me.
4. ”It is what it is” most common saying in my vocab. You can add “you know how it is” or “what can you do” if it’s appropriate.
5. This is my favourite but I never use it as it can really make people squirm “why do you ask”. It was a therapist that recommended it but I really hated the outcome so I’ve never used it more than once.

I get that people don’t know what to say. It’s not rude to ignore my disability, though if I can’t get the toilet door open and you help me your kindness is greatly appreciated. It’s the little things that count. I’m sure it will come up at some stage if you hang with me long enough. Just be real and talk about something amazing and we will get along fine. Oh by the way I love your handbag.

Dezzie 2024